Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Alone

I hate feeling alone.  I'm not talking about being alone.  I actually enjoy that.  Quiet time is nice.  I'm talking about that feeling of aloneness.  That feeling like no one understands, no one cares, no one is there for you.  My kids hate it too.  Tonight as I was getting Tucker ready to go to bed he had a bit of a melt down.  Unfortunately, I became impatient and frustrated with him.  I needed a minute to calm down.  I told him he needed to talk to God for a while, and I left him.....alone.  Looking back, I really did leave him alone, not just by himself.  My attitude and behavior spoke to him, "I don't understand, I am not here for you, and I really don't care (or atleast I'm not acting like it)."  Of course the minute I left him he was in tears.  My heart breaks thinking back on it.  I remember that feeling.  I remember having that feeling at times as a child.  I remember having that feeling as recently as a few days ago.  I hated it then and I hate it now.  It has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.  It is enough to crush your spirit.
  "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"  Jesus knew the feeling.  Though I truly believe that God suffered right there with him every step of the way, He was still human, he still Felt alone.  None of us are ever truly left all alone.  God is always with us.  He has promised to never leave us, never forsake us (Duet. 31:6,8; Heb. 13:5).  But the enemy is powerful, and his lies are often convincing.
As I laid with Tucker and comforted him, apologized and talked with him, I couldn't help but think about the millions of orphans who feel ALONE every night....  "NO one is here, NO one understands, NO one cares.... It breaks my heart.  It literally makes me feel sick, those memories of the same feelings welling up inside me.  Like I said before, that feeling is enough to crush your spirit.  That's probably part of the reason why I have such a heart for the 180 million orphans in the world.  I cannot stand to think of how Alone they must feel.....continually.  I want them to know and feel that they are loved, by God and by me.  I want to show them that they are Not Alone.  Just like I want, hope, and pray to somehow show my own kids.  God wants all His children to know.....You Are NOT ALONE!
Only God can defeat the enemy, but He has armed us with weapons of love to fight against him.  He has given us the opportunity to bind up the broken hearted.  Will we?
Praise be to God that we are NOT ALONE! 

Isaiah 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

1 comment:

  1. you're an incredible mommy! love you new blog!

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